Happy Saturday my friends. I hope you are doing well. Thankfully summer seems to have arrived in our area – my garden is not doing well at all, but perhaps this warm, sunny shot of weather will give it a boost!? It certainly is looking much better than it has, and honestly, I’ve been neglecting it a bit, so yes, it does indeed look a bit yucky. Of course, the weather hasn’t been very amendable to being out and gardening, but let’s be honest, I do enjoy kicking myself around a bit and beating myself up about things….

Speaking of which….I’ve been doing my fair share of beating myself up over the care of my mom. I should have tried harder, I should have done this or that, maybe had I followed through better on this or that….then I come full circle and wonder why in the heck I’m beating myself up over something that isn’t entirely my responsibility. Maybe I should have just continued on with my life and left it up to her or someone else….did I really need to get involved?

Part of me also feels like there’s a lot of things done half-assed – you know like a Jack of all Trades – Master of none…..I feel like I’ve not done a good job of just one thing. One week I will feel like I’ve taken care of things, then realize I forgot to pay one of our bills, or I was supposed to pick up something for mom, or perhaps her prescription is overdue, or I was supposed to call the doctor to make an appointment for my yearly check up, or Joe’s ear….it seems I can’t be 100% spot on and on top of everything. Something else I get to beat myself up over…it’s frustrating….

I finally took a day for me yesterday, where I wasn’t beholden to take care of any tasks for anyone else – which is a lie, because I had to call mom’s case manager to talk about getting her care at home, but there was missing paperwork-but at least I didn’t have to get in the car and be someplace at a certain time, it was a lovely day. The weather was great, but instead of gardening, I wedged up some clay, and threw a bunch of vessels on the wheel. Oddly, things on the wheel are going well, not sure if it’s the clay or if indeed I’m getting better? I’m using low fire clay for the first time – I’m almost finished with a 25 pound bag, it’s been super fun to see what I can make out of all of it. Some hand built things, but mostly thrown vessels. Hopefully they make it safe out into the other side!

Several of the garden beds have been neglected – the blueberry patch, the kitchen flower bed and then of course the main garden. It will all come together in time. It always does, and even if it doesn’t, it’s not going to matter in four months when things are winding down. We have lives to lead, trips to take, family to visit…..the gardens will be okay without us fretting over them all the time. The three raised beds have been weeded and are mostly taken care of. The sweet peas have finally taken hold. One of the beds has some flowers growing in it that I don’t want to disturb too much, so there are a few weeds in there- but the other beds are managing to look like something other than a pile of dog poo..

The perennial row looks amazing, I think the slow, cool, wet start to the season was exactly what they needed!

I’m hoping I can get out into the main garden today to do some weeding and fertilize. My brother-in-law brought over a little tiller for me to do in between the rows, Joe is super busy with work, the more I can take on myself the more Joe doesn’t have to worry about. Things look really rough out there, but there are a few things that appear to be pulling themselves together. The Calendula looks happy, as do the Lisianthus. The Zinna’s & Aster’s not so much.

However, it is supposed to be hot today, so it will be easy to overdo it and get too warm and not feeling good if I try to jump out there and tackle ALL of it today, so I need to remember to be kind to myself. We also have a party to go to this afternoon for our grand-daughter’s graduation from Kindergarten-don’t even get me started about that situation…..but I need to be sure there is something left of me for that event also.

Thankfully I did wake up with energy to face the day, I hope you are also finding yourself with some extra pep – but not as black and blue as I am. Until next time my friends…..hugs to you.